Blog Archive

Friday, 17 May 2013

The moon and the Kinky bear song

A moon there was!

a moon? a moon!

all covered in foam he was such a loon!

he was touching himself while singing a tune!

that dirty in-appropriate moon!



A bear there was!

a bear? a bear!

all scary and brown and covered in hair!

he wore a big dress with no underwear!

that kinky scary old bear!



In the woods that night

the woods? the woods!

the dark old place that captured red riding hoods!

a kerfuffle was happening with lots of soap suds!

that strange unrhyme-able woods!



A song there was!

a song? a song!

it was really quite strange and rather quite wrong!

it also involved a strange man in a thong!

that knky silly old song!



The moon reappeared!

the moon? the moon!

he wasn't quite done, the egotistical loon!

still touching himself but where was the spoon?

that dirty devious old moon!


The Boob Song

(Think heavy metal and the brrbrbrbbrrrbrrr as being the deep throated roaring and you've got it)

wibble wibble bounce bounce

wibble wibble bounce bounce 

brrbrbrbrbrrrrbbrrr (motorboat)

wibble wibble bounce bounce

wibble wibble bounce bounce 

bbbrbrbrbrbbbbrrrrr (motorboat)

Meanwhile.......


 …. The creatures from the land of candy floss and fizzy cola bottles were locked in a discussion over unusual circumstances…

"What's he doing?"

Asked Boomba, the Brazillian badger from Twickenham

"Beats me!"

Replied Harry, the  koala bear looking on with a blank interest.

"Well I'm telling you its not right!"

Piped up Trevor, the 150 year old tortoise, who was looking on with mild annoyance.

Pete, the Mongolian hair monkey was dancing around in circles clapping and laughing to himself making whooshing noises while the other animals crowded round with confused interest.

"Well he looks happy and he’s not harming anyone,"

Said boomba,

Maybe we should just leave him be!

"Leave him be?!?"

Roared trevor

"Before you know it they’ll all be doing it, dancing around like bloody idiots gone mad and disrupting the peace!"

"WOOSH!"

Shouted pete

Then suddenly pete stopped.

The other animals fell silent and watched intently what was going to happen next as pete looked deep in concentration.

"What’s he doing now?"

Whispered boomba, too afraid to be heard over the silence.

And with that pete stooped bent over slowly the look of concentration building and building….

.....then farted

and carried on dancing and whooshing again to stunned silence from the crowd

"Well that’s it!"

Barked trevor,

"I’ll have no more of this nonsense!"

And turned and plodded slowly off the other way cursing under his breath